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Thursday, January 3, 2008

sapphoq's predictions for 2008

or, if Jeanne Dixon and can do it, then dammit so can I...

JANUARY: Part of downtown Jerusalem will be destroyed by bombing.
FEBRUARY: Pakistan will become a bloodbath. The elections will be fixed. People will riot and be shot to death by the militia on the streets.
MARCH: Pope Benedict will make some asinine proclamation about all scientists who are Roman Catholic must follow his dictates at their jobs and not engage in stem cell research or genetic research.
APRIL: An outbreak of botulism will occur in Atlanta, Georgia.
MAY: President Bush will have surgery for inflamed hemorrhoids.
JUNE: Jimmy Carter will die in his sleep.
JULY: O'Hare Airport in Chicago will be forced to close for three days shortly after the fourth of July due to a bomb threat and the finding of a suspicious substance by a bomb dog named Boozer or Hoosier.
AUGUST: Britney Spears will die from blood poisoning. Traces of heroin will be found in her system and five empty bottles of whiskey in her hotel room next to her bed and in a drawer.
SEPTEMBER:
OCTOBER: News of the impending divorce of Hill the Pill and Bill will be leaked to the public in spite of precautions to keep it a secret.
NOVEMBER: The Republicans/Conservatives/Dominionists will win the election which shall be close.
DECEMBER: Sinead O'Connor will get married and no one will give a shit.

spike

I remember reading Jeanne Dixon's predictions at the end of every year for the next one in the newspapers. Her track record wasn't all that good and I suspect mine won't be either.

sapphoq on life
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